Anonymous-Traveler1

I had my hot chocolate brew as usual and put on my spirit-questing playlist as usual. I lay on my sofa with my eyes closed just meditating for around an hour. Watching as my internal visual space came to life out of the darkness. Lots of shifting geometries and while it didn't feel obvious that there was any connection to anything external I was having lots of churning, slightly sexual female energy/female imagery in the colourful shifting sandstorm behind my eyes. After around an hour of meditating through the transition phase I got up to go to the loo. I was surprised and how lucid and sober I felt considering the dose. I caught some foxes running around the garden in the summer evening air and I watched them from my bedroom window. I felt very grounded and in tune with nature - the family of foxes noticed me but hardly paid attention to my presence and I enjoyed that. The thick foliage climbing garden wall shifted vigorously with my shroom vision, as did the wind in the trees. As I watched the foxes running and playing I could see the bubble like manifold of the air and 3d space between us. I took many pictures of the foxes and even looking back on them in the morning they did seem to catch some of the graininess and blurry motion that I was seeing at the time in all the foliage. After a while the foxes ran off and I went back to my lounge. I shared the images with my girlfriend over text and felt a lot of love. Again I was feeling very in control and riding the wave of the energy that by now was increasing. The hands and body and the room around me had a very slippery nylon texture, slightly rough and buzzing to the touch almost. As I said goodnight to my girlfriend I turned my attention onwards again. And this is how the rest of the night unfolded. I began meditating with my eyes closed, searching through the internal geometry for entities or messages. I did get the sense that whatever in there was telling me - you are doing a great job, just carry on what you're doing! Which was a great encouragement for me. I thought about my son for a while as well and considered ways in which I could connect with him more and that felt very positive. I think at this point the high dose was kicking into gear slowly. And as I delved deeper into my mind, considering consciousness, the nature of reality etc, things became very intense. I would spend a long time with my eyes closed, willing myself deeper into my mind, searching for truth and the edges of my own mind, and then I would open my eyes and the whole room seemed to be vibrating rapidly, in a way I have only ever experience when coming out of a DMT experience. At some point I was thinking about Buddhist monks and meditative practice and how people often talk about emptying your mind untill all that's left is the observer. And I began to experience that very clearly. I would force all of my thoughts away until there was nothing left except me - but even my sense of self began slipping. Eventually my grip on reality itself started slipping and as I pushed further into emptying my mind to try and see what was beyond, I suddenly became afraid that I might disappear or die or leave this world. I became worried about leaving the world behind with all my loved ones wondering where I had gone. For a moment I considered calling my girlfriend for help and I became concerned about how the world was slipping away from me. But then... I suddenly started laughing - the idea that I could somehow think myself out of existence became very funny and absurd to me. And from then onwards I was Ok. I was thinking so intently about life, the universe, consciousness, and the minds capacity for such vivid incredible psychedelic experiences. At times I was aware that I was thinking so intensely that I was going to burn myself out. As the trip ebbed away I actually started to feel very sick and unwell - and I believe I actually ended up with food poisoning from food id eaten out earlier that day! I ended up spending a long time in the bathroom sweating bullets and feeling very nauseous. It was not a great end to the trip and I actually came away feeling a bit silly and that I needed a break for a while.